Math Therapy

Not really, but I wish, haha.

That'd be cool. Official math therapy.

People who know me that I've linked this to, you know why this is a shock. Before this November really, math was my mortal enemy. I'd rather be forced to eat a bowl of rusty nails at one point than sit through another calculus lecture.

It was so hard. Maybe it's because I received virtually no decent trigonometry or algebra education. Perhaps it's because my AP calculus teacher taught certain things completely wrong, and taught us things that we shouldn't know. Know chapter 11 in our calculus text book? Yeah, that was in AP Calc, right after Christmas actually. We covered over half of calc. 2 as well, haha.

But the more ridiculous life became for me, the more math became a comfort. My professor would know, my questions after the car accident increased ten-fold it seems. Then in November I had a meltdown in his class, and upon apologizing he said to me:

"Just focus on your work. Everything else will fall into place sooner or later."

Which is when I started consciously doing extra math just to escape. I know he didn't like it, because my questions came more frequently still as I became obsessed with understanding every little detail about the chapters that I could get into with my low skills. If my mother was having a bad day with her arthritis and I couldn't fix it? I'd do some math to stop thinking about it. Bad day with my brother? Math time! Anxiety about the future? Let's just learn chapter 6 on our own, haha.

But since then, I've started to obsess over it. The current events in my life then made me look into medicine without being forced. But I still want math in my life. So I've looked into a medical physics course very seriously and have switched to a curriculum that catches me up to their program. I plan on transferring in 2011.

I almost dropped calculus after the first test, haha. I'm really happy I didn't. It made a huge difference in my life and so did my unique professor. I didn't like him at first, he scared me >.> but getting to know him he's my favorite professor at my college and I'm looking forward to his classes for the next year and a half, though I KNOW he's not. He was not pleased in Linear this evening, haha. I'll have to make a formal apology before the semester is over again, only without a math question attached. Or the useless rambling.

I DELETED EVERYTHING

Haha, I spent some serious time cleaning this blog out.

I'mma fill it with other stuff. Mainly a book I've been working on translating the past few weeks.

1 Liter of Tears by Kitou Aya.

I've yet to find a finished translation online. So I'm going to try. I think it's a worthwhile book that is a seriously good read. It's the diary of Kitou Aya, a Japanese girl diagnosed with Spinocerebellar Degeneration Ataxia (SCA), and her thoughts as it takes control of her life.

The book itself holds very large personal value to me and I've become rather obsessed with it again after putting it aside for years.

Other than this, I'mma be filling this blog with life rants that no one will care about.

99.9% of my traffic died, which I'm actually happy about, because I wanted to start fresh but not take up more cyberspace and make a new name somewhere. I like keeping my same accounts for long periods of time.

Random thing

I've completely abandoned this blog because I've reverted back to the forum I shared videos on originally (More hits with less effort), but this is something more for myself. No one reads this anyways.

5 years ago today, two really good friends of mine killed themselves.

Even after 5 years it really bothers me, and I wanted to write that somewhere.